These are crazy times. So what else is a Portrait Photographer to do with no one to photograph? My last resort. A self-portrait.
Now, I have not been one to do self-portraits for a variety of reasons. But at the time of writing this, I have been safe in my home for 3 weeks due to a COVID-19 virus pandemic. The emotions, feelings, and anxiety have been all over the place up through now. I can say I feeling a little better about things now that the upheaval has calmed a little. In that time there have been a lot of thoughts and going inward which I think ultimately lead me to do this.
I attempted a couple of times since I have been at home without much success. Success meaning I didn’t have images I liked. Of course, it is trial and error since I can’t really direct myself when the camera is facing me. With some recent work shared by my mentor, Sue Bryce, and Zachary Whitt among others, in the online forums I am part of. I wanted to try it again.
Sitting with yourself in front of the camera is extremely vulnerable. At least for me. A multitude of thoughts and insecurities cropped up as I would get up and look at the back of the camera. Many, I’m sure my clients experience when they have their photo taken.
What are my hands doing? I hope my double chin isn’t visible… I am awkward… Am I scrunching my forehead, yup I am… I don’t want to look fat.
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I would see an image and then try to adjust without seeing myself. It just goes to show that a good portrait photographer in their element will make you look good. After a while, things started to flow a little and I was able to shoot then move and shoot again. Was I actually enjoying this? Some of these self-portraits I actually like. This self-portrait work has been a little bit of therapy for me. Maybe I need more of it.
So to all my clients out there. I feel you and want to make the process as comfortable as I can. Though there is some self-work that needs to be done so that you can be in your art and present in the images. We can dig deep together.
I would love to do more black and white studies in the future. The raw, deep, expressions. If you would want to be part of this reach out and we can set something up for the summer after COVID-19 has passed.
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