The Hats We Wear

With this COVID-19 shelter-in-place order in place. My only willing subject to photograph is myself. It got me thinking of a project I have wanted to start for quite some time called “The Hats We Wear.” Spurred from a long lost chapeau my dad had.

I love hats. And have always had some sort of collection of them. Even growing up. A shoe rack on the back of a closet door was my hat rack with everything from a Figment character with horns, to random hats I got from the local racetrack with sponsors on them. Granted not many were worn that often, if at all but they were there.

I think I inherited this obsession from my father. He always had some sort of cool hat, mostly an explorer style brimmed hat. One hat that I had never seen him wear was this bowler hat, still in it’s original box. I remember photos of him on his wedding day with my mom in the hat and tails. One of the happiest days of his life, my mom later recalled.

That hat was put back into the box and he held on to it through a raising me, divorce, and other life events never to be worn again. It wasn’t until I was going through his possessions after he passed that I found it.

These hats, especially this one, along with his Minolta SRT101 35mm film camera were the first things I brought home after he passed several years ago. It has since called to me to be photographed. I guess this was the time.

I took some time to try out different poses and ideas. Much like I do with a client in front of the camera. Though it was tricky not being able to direct posing and expressions as I see it through the viewfinder. There is an intersection when pose and expression that I look for and I couldn’t do that. It was, click the button and pose with the expression for 2 seconds and see if it work. Then repeat. Some images came out in the first shot, others, not so much.

As the photoshoot progressed I felt there needs to be more. Something more to grab on to than just the hat. The resulting image just kind of happened intuitively and through the creating and editing process it was just a piece of art for me. It wasn’t until I finished it that it really hit me the power behind this.

I see a distant grief and sadness but also calm. Which is how I feel when I think of my dad. And to be honest, since I created this I feel more at ease with it like it was an exercise in healing.

Our art can have a profound impact on our lives. Have you thought about what your art has done for yours?

I think I will be pursuing this project of “The Hats We Wear” to explore some of the characters and personas we put on in our life. Whether it is fictional or part of our daily work, those hats are a significant part of who we are.