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Thinking a lot lately about the road I have taken to be where I am now. From the many jobs I have had, to leaving the job of 10 years and venturing out on my own to really hustling to build my portrait business. The thing that I really want. Some great things are happening and I am seeing the light in what I am doing. Though, a poignant conversation with my mother really put it into perspective and allowed me to embrace a side of me I hadn’t put much thought to; a quiet confidence.
We go through life and do the things we do for many reasons. Some lead their own life without a care for what others think. Others follow the masses and often times are lead down the road to unhappiness and resentment. The latter is something that I experience in my job and knew I needed to get out and go my own way or change the environment at least. The unsettling frustration and disempowerment bled into my creative ventures and pretty much sucked all motivation out of me leaving me even more anxious because I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. The vicious cycle.
Mothers always seem to have the right things to say from the years of watching you grow up and find your way and really knowing you better than you know yourself. Thinking back to a conversation with my own mother kind of hit me hard. We were talking through my decision to go my own way and leave the comfortable blanket of a day job the notion of confidence came up. With my pursuit of studying classical percussion, and not conforming to the drum set drummer mold, and now being a portrait photographer instead of going down the wedding photographer road, she said it was a kind of confidence, in knowing what you want. It’s true, I haven’t done those things just because it was what was expected. Not the loud confidence that we commonly associate with doing your own thing. I did it because that is what I was interested in, but my introvert side didn’t want to make a scene about it. I just did it. I stayed true to myself, even though internally I may not have felt that confident. As they say, “Actions speak louder than words.”
What roads have you taken to follow your Art?
Since revisiting that conversation, the motivation has been through the roof and doubts have been pushed aside; for now at least. And resources, videos, and articles on this very topic have crossed my path. There is power in our wants and desires, especially towards our craft and art and business, and the universe seems to work with you. You just need to put it out there. Something I am still working on. So, I ask you, what do you want in your art or life? Are you walking towards it or at least on the right road to get you there? Write it down, break it down you will be amazed at what comes from it.
